On having three girls

On having three girls - Ever-changing Life of a MumGirl or boy? Throughout this pregnancy, I have been constantly asked if we know whether we’re having a girl or a boy.

We already have two beautiful girls – Miss 9 and Miss 5 – who are very excited to welcome another little sister to the family later this month.

Yes, that’s right, we are having another girl (so long as the scans are right!). So that will make three girls. Three girls who have their own futures ahead of them and in this day and age can be anything they want to be regardless of their gender.

Which is why the reaction to having three girls really perplexes me.

“Oh your poor husband,” they say. Actually my husband loves his girls.

“Tell him to get the shotgun ready for when they are older.” Um, we don’t own one. So how about we just try to raise three confident, resilient girls with a good head on their shoulders instead?

“Oh wait til you have three teenage girls in the house.” And what if I had two teenage girls and one teenage boy in the house, would that make it any better?

“Oh well, at least you’ll have lots of hand me downs to use.” OK, this is true, although we already got rid of most of our baby things. Also, every child is different – Miss 5 is quite sensitive to particular clothing so she didn’t wear all that much of Miss 9’s clothes anyway.

“Better start saving for three weddings.” I really don’t think this is the case anymore, I think I would be contributing to my children’s weddings regardless of their gender.

“Is your husband disappointed he’s not going to have a son?” I have to say I found this question the most offensive. If you knew my husband I think you’d realise that while he would love a son, he loves his daughters just as much.

“Do you think you’ll go back for another boy?” No.

So seriously, when is having a girl such a terrible thing?

The way I see it, when I welcome my little one in my arms at the end of the month, I think I will feel pretty fortunate to have three healthy, happy children. Gender makes no difference to me.

Do you have three or more children of the same sex? What are your experiences?

 

46 thoughts on “On having three girls

  1. I’ve just had my 3rd, which turned out to be a girl after 2 boys. I get the whole being offended by some of the things people say. Have had a few along the lines of ‘oh so glad you finally got a girl’, like there’s something wrong with having boys. I got a annoyed with a few people who made it sound like the only reason I had a 3rd was to get a girl. Honestly, I had a baby because I love babies, and love my kids. I would have been equally in love with another boy!

    • Congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby! Sometimes I don’t think people realise what they are saying or just think it’s a harmless joke, but after awhile it wears a little thin. Like you, I love my children regardless of whether they are a boy or a girl.

  2. Oh Erika, fantastic article. Couldn’t agree more. I was also blown away by the negativity that we received after having daughter number 3. My Avon lady’s comment of “Oh well” still stays with me. And regarding your husband, mine is the same. He loves his girls.

  3. Omg I love this so much. I’m currently pregnant with our third…. after having 2 girls already and we’re getting the same comments! If I hear “gosh well I hope this one is a boy for your husband’s sake” one more time I might go postal!! And the ‘oh how clever’ when you produce the other gender? Mind boggling! Congratulations on three, beautiful girls! Three of a kind is a very special thing, I think that’s pretty darn clever to be able to produce three of the same! The relationship your girls will have is going to be amazing. x

  4. Not long to go now Erika! Hope you’re feeling well and ready for round 3!

    I was one of three girls and loved it, your girls will grow up with their best friends (and some days their mortal enemies! ) living right down the hall. Best of luck!!

  5. Another girl.. how gorgeous. My bestie is having #3 and she already has two gorgeous girls and she’s convinced this one is too. It’s just so exciting no matter what. It seems you can’t win as I had a friend have a 3rd after having a boy and a girl and people literally asked her if #3 was an accident because she already had the pigeon pair why was she having more? So crazy!! Jx

  6. I have three girls and have received all of those comments. My reply about not having a son is… I will get a son when my girls get married. I love having three girls and being able to use the clothes between the girls has saved us so much money!

  7. People are funny. When I was preg with the twins (and already had the pigeon pair), a friend said to me, ‘it’ll be ok if you have twin girls. They’d be cute.’ Really? I think two babies are going to be pretty cute no matter they’re gender. She hasn’t mentioned this comment now that I have twin boys! I think 3 girls sounds wonderful, and I agree with you that gender really isn’t that important. We are so lucky to have healthy children, don’t people get that we’re grateful????
    (P.S any signs of early labour yet?)

  8. My mum had 3 girls and I think we turned out just fine! Don’t remember her talking about these questions but I find them pretty invasive and insulting to think that having a third daughter is anything less than having a son. What age are we in again??

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  9. Oh Erika tell them to bugger off! I am one of three girls and I am so grateful. Sure my dad needed his own bathroom, ha ha. But as a woman it’s SO great to have sisters. I often wish my daughter had a sister, not that I would change my 2 boys for the world but I do think that girls connect with their sisters as they age whereas boys gravitate to their wife’s family…. CONGRATS! I’m so very exciting. And don’t listen to anything I’ve said – having 3 kids is the best! xxx

  10. I have 4 girls and when we were pregnant with number 4 we were always asked if we wanted a boy this time. Quite frankly we didn’t really care! When number 4 was born, they comments then turned to “oh you will need that shed out the back”…”are you disappointed?” “Are you going to try again”? It used to annoy me so much!

  11. I was one of 3 girls.
    I have 3 girls and 2 boys. My first was a prior relationship. When I got married and had 2 daughters, I got “are you going to go again so your husband has his own son?” So offensive. Then our 4th was a boy, they said so you’ll stop now!
    No, we had a 5th – another girl, and I got my girl trifecta I wanted 🙂 you will love yours too. My dad never wanted a boy.

  12. We have five boys & one girl. It is for all those comments above that I am glad our girl came along as our 2nd born – then followed by another four boys.
    We love our boys (& girl) – every single one of them, & actively choose to try for a baby – not a gender.
    The number of times Rianan gets asked if she would have like a sister, if we would have liked (read preferred) another daughter, I can’t even begin to count.
    I think people are just so used to making these comments as small talk or obtuse observations, that they don’t stop to realise the impact their questions or comments have on both the parents & the other children. Should our boys feel inferior or unwanted because we had ‘another’ boy instead of a daughter or sister. Should your girls feel inferior or inadequate because not one of them was born a boy?
    Our own experiences with these comments has certainly changed the way I approach the same scenarios with other friends & acquaintances. I never use the word ‘another’, but simply “you’re having a boy/girl? Fantastic!”
    Congratulations on your three girls 😀

  13. I have two girls and then a boy. After having our boy many people told us we would be finished as ‘we had our boy now’ and while I was thrilled with my little man I would have been thrilled with a girl too. And, as it turns out, having a boy didn’t mean we were finished. It’s not about the sex of the baby, it’s just about the baby. I think people are so mislead in thinking a ‘perfect’ family has a certain amount of boys and girls.

  14. I made my own contribution to my wedding so that comment about saving up for “your daughter’s wedding” is null and void. People will just say stuff for the sake of it, I guess. 3 daughters is a huge blessing x

  15. I had a girl and then a boy and everyone would say – ‘oh you have the perfect pair, why would you try again! So we wen’t on to have our third – a girl. I think if it is twins, 3 boys, a mix of boys and girls – it is still going to be fun, rewarding, hard at times, exhausting, joyful, funny, beautiful, serious, sensational – because that is the journey of parenthood regardless of gender. Best of luck with your new baby girl and I look forward to hearing about it on your blog.

  16. I grew up with a sister and it was so much fun. Now I have a daughter (girls are so much fun!) I would love to give her a sister, although I’m sure a brother would be fun as well! Good luck with number 3 x

  17. when I had my baby shower last year for my first baby, my mother-in-law told me I had to have a boy because boys are the only good ones. I was shocked! We knew the sex of our baby but noone else did – we were having a girl! I was ecstatic to be having a girl! I didnt care if we had a boy or girl, I just wanted a happy baby! Some people just need to voice their opinions either way. What matters is you’ll have a beautiful family with three beautiful children!! My mum was one of 3 girls and she is still so close to them now 🙂

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