When the festive season is tinged with sadness

When the festive season is tinged with sadness - Ever-changing Life of a MumI love Christmas. All of my family and friends know I love Christmas. It’s definitely my favourite time of year. I love the the decorations and ornaments, the music and lights, the food and more than anything I love seeing the excitement on my children’s faces as Christmas gets closer and closer each day during the month of December.

I also love the time spent with my family, although this year brings some feelings of sadness as we celebrate without someone very special.

My dad passed away in January so this has been a year of many firsts without him. Birthdays, Easter, Father’s Day, anniversaries. While all have been happy times full of celebration, on the flipside comes feelings of grief and sadness that always hit me at some point during the day. At these times, I try to smile to myself, whisper a little “Love you Dad, wish you were here”, and keep moving on because I know that’s what he would want me to do.

Christmas was also a really special time for my Dad … what can I say, I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Celebrating Christmas without him this year will be hard, but I know that continuing on with our traditions and celebrations all together as we always have is exactly what he would want us to do. He was never one to dwell on sadness, but more of the wheels keep on turning and life goes on type of person.

I’m so glad I got to spend last Christmas with him before we lost him to cancer. The dreadful disease had already taken him in its grip but he was fighting the battle and I never expected him to pass away so soon and so suddenly in January. But I know his body had simply said enough was enough and it was time to let him go; for him to rest in peace.

To keep his memory alive, I recently bought a treasured ornament to hang on my family’s Christmas tree to always remember him at this, his most favourite, time of year. It’s a simple yet beautiful silver bell that reminds me of the song ‘Silver Bells’ by Bing Crosby he always used to sing, totally off tune, each Christmas. I’d give anything to hear that rendition again.

I placed the ornament bell on the tree for the first time with my girls earlier this month, the bell gently ringing as we did so and reminding me of the quote from the movie ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ – “Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings”. It couldn’t be any truer.

My children are super excited for Christmas this year and that brings such great happiness to me, just like I know it would bring a big smile to their Opa’s face if he were still here to see it.

My Dad forever remains in our hearts. I know he is always there watching over us and enjoys these special moments with us in spirit and through us.

Merry Christmas Dad, miss you and love you always xx

12 thoughts on “When the festive season is tinged with sadness

  1. That is a lovely idea and one we have used ourselves. We lost my step mother to motor neurone disease 3 nearly 4 years ago now and did the same that first Christmas. My Dad has since given us some of her ornaments to add to the tree as well. I wish you many beautiful moments for your festive season xx

  2. Oh Erika, I can’t imagine how hard this first Christmas will be for you. I am so sorry for this grief that you’re feeling. I love that you’ve found a special way to honour and remember your Dad at this time. Sending you big, big hugs! I also wanted to say thank you for being a part of IBOT this year, I really appreciate it xx

  3. Oh Erika! My heart goes out to you. The first Christmas without a loved one is always so hard. The ornament is a beautiful idea. Your dad will be there in your hearts xx

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